Wednesday, June 6, 2012

05/06/2012







Well yesterday was our 3 anniversary, I dont know what to say really. I pretended to be happy but deeply inside, you dont know how sad I am. Yes I was in your room, yes I saw all of your pictures and yes Im freakin sad. Do you know why I am sad? Its not about if you guys get back together or whatever. Its about you, Im glad that I found out that you were never ever ready to be with me even you said that thousands of times. But I just couldnt believe I found out all of that on our day. Big rain, big storm and Im sure you know how much I care for you right? I tried so hard to become your driver yesterday and I didnt do it because it was our anniversary, I did it because I dont want you, a princess to face with the storm after a hard working day, I dont want that stupid storm wet you and make you have a cold, I dont want you to catch the public transport by yourself, and I dont want you to be alone in that weather. Because I want to show you that I can be there for you no matter what, I can be there at any situation and I want to be there with you to go through the "Storm"

Well I dont believe that when some people tell you that "you can smile and have fun with me but not when you are sad" Think about it again yeah, I was there for you at the first time when we met, I was there for you to cheers you up, I was there to give you a hand, I was there to protect for you and I was there to back you up.
I dont know how much remember about this things but deep deep inside me, I remember everything. I remember how I hurt you, how I got jealous, how I made you cry and how stupid I was.

I have no ideas about how you feel now, but Im not going to give up until you say you dont want me anymore or you get back with Alex.
I know what you and me have been through will make you regret about breaking up with him before, but if you really think about that then you cant compare them coz you and him didnt have anyone stand on your ways but you and me did, even you said he retreated but the ways he kept doing those things doesnt mean that he stop. I dont know if this is what he wants to see or not but yeah just say it You Want Me or Not! Thats a simple question but maybe hard to answer but I dont want to waste your time and annoy you anymore. I meant like when I ask you to hang out with if you say no then you wont feel good and if you say yes, you are not happy with it as well.
I know you will say Its Up To You Whatever Im Thinking if I say that things to you. Thats the thing that I hate about you coz when you say that that means you just leave it there and  want only me to solve it.

Im here at Iraq because I have a reason as well, yeah I did all my best, I tried hard and as I see so far Im still a failure guy. well I just hope you can figure your feeling out soon and we all can work on it.